As I sit here thinking about all I am going to say I am listening to a cd with the very title of this post. It helps bring back the magic of my childhood that I adored so much. Listen below, if you'd like, to one piece from the album.
We drove through Texas on our way to a new adventure out in Arizona and I was flooded with memories of my childhood. I lived in San Antonio for a good part of my life (army standards :oP) and all I have are fond memories of my time there. Of a simplistic time of running down the street, stepping on burrs, and camping out in the backyard eating grapes where my biggest concern was doing well in a Dance Plus competition.
I didnt quite remember all the driving around Texas that we did in my youth until we passed Dallas and it all came back to me. The trips to go to magical places like the Guadalupe Mountains (funny story, wind blew hot water onto me that we were going ot use for hot chocolate, and my disdain for the wind started at that moment as I look back :oP), tubing down the Guadelupe River, boating on Canyon Lake, hiking Enchanted Rock, touring Carlsbad Caverns, trips to Fiesta Texas (I believe it was new around that time but I could be wrong), and of course going downtown to the Riverwalk and Alamo. Those oil things above I called grasshoppers. The landscape hasn't changed much, not that I would expect it to, but I am grateful for little parts being frozen in time :o)
Zoey was incredibly excited to be in Texas! Unbeknownst to us at this time, that childhood I had hoped to share with my daughter was sitting in a trailer burned and wet. Playmobil I hoped to share with her that I had accumulated mostly in Germany after my Texas time. American Girl dolls and clothes and a bed for them that I knew she'd just love as much as I did. A bike I used almost everyday in Germany for trips like biking to ballet that I had been saving, refusing to give up every time it was suggested that I do so. Books from my youth that I loved. A set of toy llamas I begged my mom's boss in San Antonio for ( I was a bit of a brat huh? :oP). So much I wished to share with her so she could know the wonderful childhood I had. I do have my memories; memories that cannot be robbed from my brain, true, but the physical trigger has been robbed from my life. But I havent seen those toys in years and maybe, like my mom said, with the insurance moeny we can get toys I know Zoey will like, not mine that I would thrust upon her.
I am going to close that chapter on my life and stop whining about my loss and just look forward to creating new memories with her that are just as special as my mom did for me. I hope she will be as grateful for it as I am to my wonderful mother.
I love you mom! Thank you for all that you did, do, and will continue to do. You are my inspiration.